| Hemingway | 

“He had destroyed his talent by not using it, by betrayals of himself and what he believed in, by drinking so much that he blunted the edge of his perceptions, by laziness, by sloth, and by snobbery, by pride and by prejudice, by hook and by crook.

It was a talent all right but instead of using it, he had traded it.

He had traded it for security, for comfort too, there was no denying that…”

[ Excerpt from The Snows of Kilimanjaro, Ernest Hemingway ]

Tapping into the well of these writers from another time & place has been the biggest breath of fresh air. Although a different time, a very prevailing perspective is uncovered.

What talents & gifts have we put on hold, hiatus or have yet to dream up. How many times have we chosen the comfortable route that {f e a r  &  d o u b t} have placed us on in exchange for the {j o y} our gifts are anticipating to flourish within us.

In this story, Harry is reflecting on his life due to becoming infected with gangrene & assuming his death is near. His passion never attained: writing.

“But he would never do it, because each day of not writing, of comfort, of being that which he despised, dulled his ability and softened his will to work so that, finally, he did not work at all.”

An encouragement & challenge to myself is not becoming discouraged or overwhelmed by the work that’s necessary to watch gifts, passions & big dreams take shape. By reminding myself that I am a work in progress, that my journey will provide laughs & growth [alike] & to remain steadfast in gratitude…I am provided the heart to take on my wandering, one day, one moment at a time.

Thank you Mr. Hemingway — for being my teacher today.

{ p i s c e s }

As the month of March comes to an end, I reflect on how much I love this month, this season.

Mine & my mothers birthdays are on the 1st but that is not the only reason for my adoration. I knew this birthday would be slightly different than those of years 27, 26…& so on. My heart is filled with such gratitude this year that I found this March 1 to hold more emotion compared to others past.

2014 brought me growth, pain, struggle & lessons stemming from poor choice making; all prompting me for strength, courage & emancipation from old parts of myself and delight in my newness.

As March “comes in like a lion & goes out like a lamb”, I am reminded that we all stumble upon our lion-like state of affairs filled with disorder, confusion & uncertainty. But I have learned that it is in those times that our inner lioness is awakened & born; that with a little patience, trust, & courage we can find our footing, direction & purpose once more.

Like the tulips that use the month of March to sprout, grow & bloom…{I} will too. {You} will too. {We} will too.

To a beautiful month, my most favorite month, I am grateful to be a part of you.

 

Celebrate Me Home…

This is my favorite time of the year & my first holiday season back in Kansas from my stint in Texas; chalking up another journey of “self discovery”.

Five years ago I would have laughed in the face of anyone who told me I would ever reside in Kansas once more; and this time, it’s by choice.

My journey in Texas collected miles & I missed my family & loved ones more & more. I was absent from graduations, birthdays, reunions; the absence from simpler day-to-day excursions was just as annoying.

Seeing as this wasn’t the first time I packed my car & went vagabond, I knew these yearnings for home were coming from a different place.

Maybe a “grown” place.
A “seen enough” place.
To some, a “quitter” place.
But in fact, a place of “growth”was ensuing.

A place where I had realized that my geographical whereabouts do not define me; nor does my status, things of monetary value or the job that I possess. That my spirit is not hindered or altered by my surroundings but by my own mindset, insecurities & inhibitions.

That because He is within me I am able to be the vessel He has created me to be; present & purposeful, no matter where I am.

The change I was once praying for, in fact, would be a change of my own heart.

It took nearly a year of patience & courage but I was able to wave goodbye to Texas knowing that my growing pains lead to growth that lead me home.

#GratefulHeart.
#KansasChristmas.
#CelebrateMeHome.

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