Right Place Right Time 

…when the light bulb goes off: I’m right where I’m meant to be. 

Today: I spoke freely to a gal and inquisitively asked her story. Her story encompasses hurt, struggle and the pursuit of redemption from decisions gone wrong. 

Hardly knowing this person, I shared a piece of my past that flipped a switch for me. We all have them. Our humbling, drop to our knees, “I surrender” seasons. They don’t define us – they piece us together. And thanks to these moments we are textured, layered and multi-dimensional humans. Thank God. 

You never know what to expect when you just throw it out there. Hopefully this gal felt peace and encouragement that we are all just like her. Hopefully she felt the love from one imperfect being to another. 

“Hope begins in the dark, the stubborn hope that if you just show up and try to do the right thing, the dawn will come. You wait and watch and work: you don’t give up.” Anne Lamott 

I Want to Remember…

It’s a Tuesday. It was a cooler morning but what a beautiful day it grew into. 

Today I want to remember my client telling me how she adopted her son from China. Her explanation of how he was tiny, with a big head and how he looked different than the pictures she had seen of him. What a description. I hope she wrote that down somewhere to cherish forever. She is trying to raise him speaking both English and Vietnamese but proclaimed his stubbornness. He hugged me tightly before he left – His name is Ian. 

Today I want to remember the soulful conversation I had with a woman whom is a client but I can already tell will be a dear friend. The greatest compliment, she gave to me today: I love how you are just, you. Real, honest, gutsy conversations – those are the ones that get me; they feed my soul. 

Enjoy your journey. 

Until next time. 

M A Y / 1 2

As we prepared for the Mother’s Day celebration at Bartlett Arboretum we were tidying up, pulling tulips for mums, planting more budding flowers & [my newly found interest] pruning. [the heck?]

“Trim the dead right up to the live tree so it promotes growth. The likelihood of it growing back healthy is increased.” • {tree}

Amidst my therapeutic tree pruning, it unfolded within me that this tree and its lifeless, energy drain limbs is no different from our lives and the baggage we carry or hold on to. Just as the limbs of a tree are cropped, we too can trim the dead, the negativity, the nonsense & the unfulfilling branches in our life; the branches that leave us parched, hurting, seeking fulfillment or approval, running in circles & exhausting beautiful days.

Just as the tree exerts energy in trying to contain the damage & the sickly branches continue to prevent new growth, we too find ourselves stuck & empty due to people, things, circumstances & choices.

Insert: pruning.

I have experienced the difficulty in “trimming the fat” within my own life; I have also experienced the joy that comes from it that I never knew existed.

The initial difficulties in saying no, walking away from a hurtful person, loving someone from a distance rather than closely & full of expectation, making discerning decisions based on acknowledging my worth all lead to growth within me & have since offered me joy, restful nights & alive days.

The tree takes years to grow, flower, stretch, canopy, shake the dead, flourish, spread, rise up — with no end to speak of; what makes us think we are not so peculiar?

I am thankful for my foundation, my heart, my trunk.

I am thankful for my branches that stretch out in many directions seeking light, passion, service & my Maker.

I am also thankful for the deadwood that has been shaken off — among the nonessential has been learning experiences teaching me truth, authenticity, what truly matters in our lives & once shimmied down to my core, it is where I truly uncover myself.

Thank you {Mother Nature} | for being my teacher.

Thank you {Tree} | for helping me to become an enlightened wildflower among the wilderness 🌸

| Hemingway | 

“He had destroyed his talent by not using it, by betrayals of himself and what he believed in, by drinking so much that he blunted the edge of his perceptions, by laziness, by sloth, and by snobbery, by pride and by prejudice, by hook and by crook.

It was a talent all right but instead of using it, he had traded it.

He had traded it for security, for comfort too, there was no denying that…”

[ Excerpt from The Snows of Kilimanjaro, Ernest Hemingway ]

Tapping into the well of these writers from another time & place has been the biggest breath of fresh air. Although a different time, a very prevailing perspective is uncovered.

What talents & gifts have we put on hold, hiatus or have yet to dream up. How many times have we chosen the comfortable route that {f e a r  &  d o u b t} have placed us on in exchange for the {j o y} our gifts are anticipating to flourish within us.

In this story, Harry is reflecting on his life due to becoming infected with gangrene & assuming his death is near. His passion never attained: writing.

“But he would never do it, because each day of not writing, of comfort, of being that which he despised, dulled his ability and softened his will to work so that, finally, he did not work at all.”

An encouragement & challenge to myself is not becoming discouraged or overwhelmed by the work that’s necessary to watch gifts, passions & big dreams take shape. By reminding myself that I am a work in progress, that my journey will provide laughs & growth [alike] & to remain steadfast in gratitude…I am provided the heart to take on my wandering, one day, one moment at a time.

Thank you Mr. Hemingway — for being my teacher today.

{Fortune Teller}

“Where do you see yourself in five years?”

A question I sometimes ponder & even roughly inquire with others (in the most genuine, inquiring minds, I’m interested in your life, your kids are adorable, “you have a cat too?!” sort of way), though it doesn’t seem very reasonable to me, when given further thought.

There was a time when people would often ask me where I saw myself down the line. I would pull something from thin air or rattle off a customary return: career, settle down, happy. Typical stuff. I guess the lapse of time between previously being asked that & this weekend have me providing a very different answer…

Where do I see myself in five years? I’m not sure but I don’t intend on forming an indestructible plan or idea of what my future is; my plans don’t [necessarily] likely pan out. What I am sure of at this point, however, is that I want to do what makes me joyful & exercise my gifts; write, be a steward to my beautiful skin care clients & continue traveling with the possibility of joining a non profit one day. I intend on living for passion rather than a paycheck; with purpose rather than passivity. To live in prayer for the hurting hearts of others while seeking the continual work in my own. And all the while, living in pursuit of simplicity.

I suppose rather than “where do I see myself in five years” I see it as “what do I desire of my next five years”.

“Where do you see yourself” brings such conclusion; a destination that’s been [hypothetically] predetermined.

“What do you desire” promotes the journey and what we plan on contributing to it.

Big dreams, goals & even “fell into my lap” moments are all a reflection of our daily contributions; our investment of time & energy. I acknowledge that previously on my journey I found frustration due to certain opportunities or circumstances not going my way with only the end result in sight. But what were my daily contributions? How was I becoming better? How was I contributing to those around me rather than myself alone? And with only the end in sight [where I saw myself in five years] how many every day wonders was I missing out on?

Therefore, what I desire of my next five years is to live in joy, pursuit & passion — of Jesus, others & my gifts.

Where I am in five years will come & go; hopefully my contributions will make a longer, lasting impression.

#InPursuit

#Journey

#BartlettArb | Circa Spring 2014

 

Grey Life

[patience: composure, backbone, cool…trust.]

[virtue: goodness, quality, purity…faith.]

The practice of the first while in pursuit of the second have me presently living in the grey; in the still & calmness as time continues to shed light on the virtue of patience.

Because patience is hard & it’s challenging & because it’s part of our journey that sometimes takes us a different direction than we originally planned.

But rather than seek discouragement I will chase peace. I will chase laughter. I will treasure the beauty in my grey life I entertain today because there’s something to soak up in this moment of limbo; I’m sure of it.

My journey, my work in progress, my adventure, my truth; if only I have eyes to see it as such. To fight the misconceptions that I should be anything or anywhere other than where my two feet ground right now. To know my purpose is to serve the present without the fixated thoughts of tomorrow(s).

And while this is not my first limbo, nor will it be my last, I hope to continually get better at riding the waves as I keep my eye to the sky & my face to the Sun.

Cheers to our journey; our truth. ☀️

#TGIF

#HappyFriday

“Free yourself from following other people’s path or worrying you are not “on track”. You feel real freedom in direct proportion to how connected you are to living your truth — embrace the beautifully crooked path right beneath your own two feet. There is no where else you “should” be, step fully into the space you are standing at this moment. It is your own, and where true freedom lies.”

#ProjectHappiness

#FridayFreedom

 

{ i n s p o }

Last week I was moved to watery eyes & sniffles while reading a fellow friend & blogger’s most recent entry.
[elysesexpressions.wordpress.com check her out!]

I don’t want to spoil anything & I would encourage all to take in her beautiful words for themselves as she begins a new journey “writing herself alive”. She describes a lack of feeling & inspiration as her motive for taking an online class that includes this 30 day assignment.

Assignment 1: a letter to my decade younger self.

While this entry moved me it also inspired me to reflect on what I would say to my younger self. Although I’m thankful for my experiences & growing moments, there are a few “two cents’ worth” that may have aided me or just caused me to smile in encouragement.

[ 17 year old Junebug:

You are a beautiful being with so much heart & soul. You’re officially in California, on your own & unsure of what’s next but from this moment forward I want you to know & remember….

You are f e a r l e s s: don’t be afraid to jump, leap or of the growing pains that come with it.
You are c o n f i d e n t: don’t doubt the gifts, spirit & quirks God bestowed with intention when he created YOU.

You don’t need to rush. Don’t be afraid to live in the grey at times & trust the season you are in. Everything that is meant for you will come to you if only you will trust the plan God has in motion, be thankful for the journey & have discernment when navigating your route.

As you navigate your way keep in mind that it is essential to learn when to walk a w a y from what is not good & how to walk t o w a r d what galvanizes the best in you.

When & if people inquire about your vagabond & wildflower ways don’t become apprehensive of your path. Everyone takes a different route & yours specifically is piecing together a testimony — you’ll see.

At last, as you make your voyage & find yourself among favorable & hindering circumstances alike don’t lose your fire, keep dancing & hold tight to your silliness.

To my decade younger self: thank you for being you. Enjoy the journey. ]

A letter to myself then; a reminder to myself now.

{ Elyse, thank you for providing inspiration. My heart is happy to see your God given art unfold & come alive. }

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bulletproof | in pursuit of an alkaline body

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I figured it might be worthwhile to give little testimonies of this Bulletproof journey I’m on in case anyone is curious, inquiring or already kicking tush at it.

Officially, I’ve been sipping [& thoroughly enjoying] the Bulletproof Coffee With Butter since summer 2014 [info & instructions in the link! ^] & I might go as far as to call myself a “lifer” in the making.

A faithful bagel, Starbucks Blonde Roast with half & half + 1 Splenda & afternoon Redbull consumer — this was a very different groove that I wasn’t sure I was willing or able to get on board with.

I was made my first butter coffee early 2014 but went back to my old faithful. It wasn’t until Tree, so kindly, made one for me every Monday morning prior to commuting to Kansas City that I became mindful.

I had energy, I felt good, I didn’t feel the repercussions of a sugar crash & my hunger didn’t bark at me until well after 1:00 PM.

Among all this awesomeness, even more began to surface. I was suitably on the Bulletproof pony for several months when I ran out of honey [sugar/sweetener substitute added to each brew, to taste]. Inherently of me, I used a Splenda packet as a, just this once, alternate. I was beginning my second thermos of coffee when I realized I was experiencing the worst headache I could ever remember having; my head, my jaw, even my teeth.

Lightbulb moment: the Splenda.

But it was just a one time use?

[insert] My favorite result of the Bulletproof Coffee that has since progressed to the Bulletproog Diet: with the depletion of processed foods & refined sugars my body is able to speak to me thus I am able to take notice, listen & make adjustments based on what my body has sensitivities to & outright does not support the digestion of.

This way of eating has changed the way I view food from being cognizant of additives, the effects of sweeteners & insulin-raising foods to acknowledging warning signs in my body post eating grub. I feel empowered & en route to gaining control of how my body feels & functions via what I put in it.

Im hoping to narrow down my seasonal allergies & a sensitivity to alcohol that came about a year ago. So far I’m finding that my eyes & tum are the most telling when my body isn’t feeling it.

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We received the Bulletproof book as a Christmas gift & I’m excited to dig into the info. It includes the science behind the program, guidance on food, sleep & stress & how it affects our ability to achieve our state of high performance.

Below are some substitutions I made in the beginning that helped get the ball rolling. I’m mindful that this, in fact, is a lifestyle change & therefore encourage myself to take it step by step, sub by sub. We do still cheat on occasion, I mean, cmon. Who can sub Chipotle? Unfortunately, it’s how we feel after we cheat [headache, tummy ache etc.] that reminds us these foods are not good for us & reassures us were moving in the right direction.

• Honey vs. Sugar/Sweetener
• Kerrygold Grass-fed Butter [unsalted, silver wrapping] vs. Butter/Margarine
• Lundberg Rice Chips vs. Tortilla Chips
• Hummus vs. Dips

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• Sweet Potatoes [boil, mash, add a little grass-fed butter & honey] vs. White Potatoes
• White Rice vs. Brown Rice due to its acidic properties
• Rice Noodles [in the spaghetti aisle] vs. Spaghetti Pasta which includes 7 ingredients vs. rice noodles 2 ingredients

• Corn has been completely eliminated due to its acidic & GMO properties
• Grass-fed beef has taken the place of traditional store bought beef, chicken & pork
• I am a big craisin eater & I’m slowly trying to eliminate them due to their acidic properties; this goes with any dried fruit
• All veggies & fruits are bought in raw form
• Unfortunately, cheese has acidic properties & I’m working to eliminate it as well. The only cheese I keep in the refrigerator is goat cheese

I don’t know everything there is to know about food & the affects it has on our minds & bodies but I seek to soak up knowledge from sources smarter than I.

I hope my journey encourages, motivates & possibly makes it easier to get started!

I believe we deserve to feel good, look good & radiate good from the inside out; I’m realizing I don’t believe any of that comes from diets, fads or hours upon hours of exercise but rather awareness of what we put in our bodies, confidence & a grateful heart.

Get your #buttercoffee on & give it a whirl. Frothy coffee might be a game changer for you as well.

Until next time….

#BulletproofCoffee
#TwoCents
#InPursuit

A & J • 1|1|2015

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These two? They’re as awesome as they come. With their own little bubble of cuteness & a whole lotta sunshine … they just tied the knot.

It always makes me happy to witness those who find that “when ya know, ya know” kind of love. The kind where one person may be red & the other may be blue but they make their own kind of purple. The kind of purple they choose to love now, tomorrow & always — Knowing their persons greatness and weakness & among them both, willing to give the same love, compassion & heart. Ready to support them everyday & mostest on the crappy days because who likes crappy days? No one. [obvs]

The kind of purple we voluntarily make compromises, meet in the middle or pick our battles for that in the end don’t feel like trade-offs at all because we love our person more than the concession.

The person you endearingly thank God for sending because they give you perspective, a back bone, a shoulder, inspiration; someone to share coffee with, travel & have adventures with, play Cards Against Humanity with, pray with, cook with…do life with. And then some.

Up & down.
Side to side.
The good & the not so good.
The sure flow.

The kind of purple that knows it may never be perfect but it will be a life spent with the greatest sidekick they have ever known. And what’s better than that?

While A & J inspire me, I hope to spark in them to have a wonderful life, enjoy the moments & always look out for one another — Loving someone & being loved in return is quite special & you two humans are just that.

Savor the journey.
Relish the adventure.
To (A)ngelina & (J). [oh wait, that’s your name!]

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#MrAndMrsOtto.
#SicParvisMagna.

“Greatness from small beginnings.”

Celebrate Me Home…

This is my favorite time of the year & my first holiday season back in Kansas from my stint in Texas; chalking up another journey of “self discovery”.

Five years ago I would have laughed in the face of anyone who told me I would ever reside in Kansas once more; and this time, it’s by choice.

My journey in Texas collected miles & I missed my family & loved ones more & more. I was absent from graduations, birthdays, reunions; the absence from simpler day-to-day excursions was just as annoying.

Seeing as this wasn’t the first time I packed my car & went vagabond, I knew these yearnings for home were coming from a different place.

Maybe a “grown” place.
A “seen enough” place.
To some, a “quitter” place.
But in fact, a place of “growth”was ensuing.

A place where I had realized that my geographical whereabouts do not define me; nor does my status, things of monetary value or the job that I possess. That my spirit is not hindered or altered by my surroundings but by my own mindset, insecurities & inhibitions.

That because He is within me I am able to be the vessel He has created me to be; present & purposeful, no matter where I am.

The change I was once praying for, in fact, would be a change of my own heart.

It took nearly a year of patience & courage but I was able to wave goodbye to Texas knowing that my growing pains lead to growth that lead me home.

#GratefulHeart.
#KansasChristmas.
#CelebrateMeHome.

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