| Hemingway | 

“He had destroyed his talent by not using it, by betrayals of himself and what he believed in, by drinking so much that he blunted the edge of his perceptions, by laziness, by sloth, and by snobbery, by pride and by prejudice, by hook and by crook.

It was a talent all right but instead of using it, he had traded it.

He had traded it for security, for comfort too, there was no denying that…”

[ Excerpt from The Snows of Kilimanjaro, Ernest Hemingway ]

Tapping into the well of these writers from another time & place has been the biggest breath of fresh air. Although a different time, a very prevailing perspective is uncovered.

What talents & gifts have we put on hold, hiatus or have yet to dream up. How many times have we chosen the comfortable route that {f e a r  &  d o u b t} have placed us on in exchange for the {j o y} our gifts are anticipating to flourish within us.

In this story, Harry is reflecting on his life due to becoming infected with gangrene & assuming his death is near. His passion never attained: writing.

“But he would never do it, because each day of not writing, of comfort, of being that which he despised, dulled his ability and softened his will to work so that, finally, he did not work at all.”

An encouragement & challenge to myself is not becoming discouraged or overwhelmed by the work that’s necessary to watch gifts, passions & big dreams take shape. By reminding myself that I am a work in progress, that my journey will provide laughs & growth [alike] & to remain steadfast in gratitude…I am provided the heart to take on my wandering, one day, one moment at a time.

Thank you Mr. Hemingway — for being my teacher today.

{ p i s c e s }

As the month of March comes to an end, I reflect on how much I love this month, this season.

Mine & my mothers birthdays are on the 1st but that is not the only reason for my adoration. I knew this birthday would be slightly different than those of years 27, 26…& so on. My heart is filled with such gratitude this year that I found this March 1 to hold more emotion compared to others past.

2014 brought me growth, pain, struggle & lessons stemming from poor choice making; all prompting me for strength, courage & emancipation from old parts of myself and delight in my newness.

As March “comes in like a lion & goes out like a lamb”, I am reminded that we all stumble upon our lion-like state of affairs filled with disorder, confusion & uncertainty. But I have learned that it is in those times that our inner lioness is awakened & born; that with a little patience, trust, & courage we can find our footing, direction & purpose once more.

Like the tulips that use the month of March to sprout, grow & bloom…{I} will too. {You} will too. {We} will too.

To a beautiful month, my most favorite month, I am grateful to be a part of you.

 

Grey Life

[patience: composure, backbone, cool…trust.]

[virtue: goodness, quality, purity…faith.]

The practice of the first while in pursuit of the second have me presently living in the grey; in the still & calmness as time continues to shed light on the virtue of patience.

Because patience is hard & it’s challenging & because it’s part of our journey that sometimes takes us a different direction than we originally planned.

But rather than seek discouragement I will chase peace. I will chase laughter. I will treasure the beauty in my grey life I entertain today because there’s something to soak up in this moment of limbo; I’m sure of it.

My journey, my work in progress, my adventure, my truth; if only I have eyes to see it as such. To fight the misconceptions that I should be anything or anywhere other than where my two feet ground right now. To know my purpose is to serve the present without the fixated thoughts of tomorrow(s).

And while this is not my first limbo, nor will it be my last, I hope to continually get better at riding the waves as I keep my eye to the sky & my face to the Sun.

Cheers to our journey; our truth. ☀️

#TGIF

#HappyFriday

“Free yourself from following other people’s path or worrying you are not “on track”. You feel real freedom in direct proportion to how connected you are to living your truth — embrace the beautifully crooked path right beneath your own two feet. There is no where else you “should” be, step fully into the space you are standing at this moment. It is your own, and where true freedom lies.”

#ProjectHappiness

#FridayFreedom

 

Celebrate Me Home…

This is my favorite time of the year & my first holiday season back in Kansas from my stint in Texas; chalking up another journey of “self discovery”.

Five years ago I would have laughed in the face of anyone who told me I would ever reside in Kansas once more; and this time, it’s by choice.

My journey in Texas collected miles & I missed my family & loved ones more & more. I was absent from graduations, birthdays, reunions; the absence from simpler day-to-day excursions was just as annoying.

Seeing as this wasn’t the first time I packed my car & went vagabond, I knew these yearnings for home were coming from a different place.

Maybe a “grown” place.
A “seen enough” place.
To some, a “quitter” place.
But in fact, a place of “growth”was ensuing.

A place where I had realized that my geographical whereabouts do not define me; nor does my status, things of monetary value or the job that I possess. That my spirit is not hindered or altered by my surroundings but by my own mindset, insecurities & inhibitions.

That because He is within me I am able to be the vessel He has created me to be; present & purposeful, no matter where I am.

The change I was once praying for, in fact, would be a change of my own heart.

It took nearly a year of patience & courage but I was able to wave goodbye to Texas knowing that my growing pains lead to growth that lead me home.

#GratefulHeart.
#KansasChristmas.
#CelebrateMeHome.

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Sun•Day (Yay)

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Sundays are the best days (my fav in fact)…especially when you have the pleasure of spending the evening with an awesome group of warm, wise folks, yummy food and [near] endless vino. An event hosted by the wonderful Robin, owner of the Bartlett Arboretum along with husband Kenny, who delivered her true to form specialty: delight.

In her speech to friends she expressed gratitude for their support, reminisced stories & uncovered lessons learned from longstanding friends she now calls family.

The woman has a way with words & I admire it so much because I am a lover of vocabulary.

During her speech she shared a few key words & phrases that stuck with me as I began to reflect on experiences & loved ones of my own:

•Patience
•Tenacity
•”Do it anyway”
•”With the end in mind”
•”Have fun & enjoy the view”

In the last year I have been a student to patience while being reminded it is a virtue for a reason.

My patience was tested while trying to decide whether I was being called to stay in Texas or come back to Kansas where my heart was. To make a long story short, patience eventually lead me home.

It was also tested when I met my Tree. I had no idea when we met that I was stumbling upon a wonderful human with the greatest heart & soul; that he would later teach me so much about letting go, letting God & the flow of life take it’s course, to believe in myself & my gifts. We began as friends but patience proved to bring us together in it’s own time. #thankful.

My yoga practice continues to test my patience as well — rather than envisioning where I want to be in my practice, yoga helps bring me back to the present moment to notice just how far I have come. I know one day I will be as developed as I envision but for now I am learning to be thankful for the voyage, setting my intention on trust & continued diligence.

Chutzpah, spunk, guts, backbone, willfulness…tenacity. Does anything worthwhile come to fruition without it? Or without the acknowledgment that sometimes despite our mindset, mood or plans we have to just grin, bear it & “do it anyway”?

I was a fan of listening to Robin reflect on times of “doing it anyway” especially on days where #TheStruggleWasReal.

There have been times when I’ve needed reminding that the situations I’m in are temporary & that without my personal tests I would never have my own testimony. “Doing it anyway” has offered me growth and has provided me with “entertaining” stories of my journey [typically after the storm, of course]; suggesting along the way to not necessarily be focused on the “end result” but rather keep “the end in mind”. We always hear people referring to the journey rather than the destination; go figure, they’re right. But sometimes the journey isn’t dang roses & Earth, Wind & Fire but rather a pain, rocks & glass [thank you Kid President]. I suppose life calls for us to get our hands a little dirty on occasion.

And lastly, she spoke of “having fun & enjoying the view”. A self explanatory reminder but how easily we forget.

Sunday adventure.
Monday jots.
Daily reminders.

Thankful heart, always.

#HappyMonday.